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Often times, people get so wrapped up in accommodating others that their sense of self and their own boundaries may become a little loose.With that, they lose themselves and lower their self esteem in the process.Boundaries in romantic relationships are especially critical, because as opposed to other relationships, partners inhabit each other’s most intimate spaces, including physical, emotional and sexual, he said.This is why communicating your boundaries clearly is key. Below, you’ll find insights on boundaries that don’t work and tips for setting boundaries that do.“Boundaries that often fail are those that include the words ‘always,’ ‘never’ or any absolute language,” said Bridget Levy, LCPC, a therapist who works with couples and directs business development at Urban Balance.Communicating with a new dating partner is one of the most exciting experiences of a new relationship.Texting, calling, emailing, or messaging on social media with this new person can happen more frequently.Indeed, it's almost impossible to be compassionate if you do not have good boundaries.
They take the form "I will" or "I will not." Examples of boundaries I have: I will not start a relationship with someone who is not polyamorous. I will always disclose my current relationship structure. When we don't have boundaries, we become codependent, or abuse victims, or worse.You may not give much thought to the existence of boundaries in your daily life, but they are everywhere.For example, when you are driving on a two lane road, you stay to the right of the center line, especially if there is a car coming from the opposite direction.Such boundaries are usually unrealistic and don’t last, she said.She shared these examples: “You can never” or “You must always.”Other poor boundaries alienate you from your partner, have a double standard or try to manipulate an outcome, she said.